Version 2.0
A Note from the Author
Hello, love!
Whew! After a long delay, I am returning to the FAQ. A lot of information
has been out-of-date for some time, so I felt I had to at least get us back in place.
I have noticed a growing number of sites out there that have copied this forum and my ideas. Fuck them. While I should be angered at what is clearly a violation
of copyright, I'll choose to be understanding and a little flattered.
It's things like this, and the impeding religious right (which
I feel I've done my part to help), that leads me to think that this will
be the last update to the FAQ. I nearly pulled it out a year ago, but
all of the women in the vicinity started fighting over it.... Oh, you want to talk about this web page. I can do that...
In the past three-and-a-half years, I've been able to watch the FlipBoard grow
from a fledgling concept to the most important part of the internet
experience. Cursing and flipping things off have brought personalization, commerce, and convenience
to the internet, legitimizing it as a place for individualism, not just for science
or crappy Frontpage personal home pages.
I've seen the FAQ grow as well over that time. The first draft of the
FAQ was written to target stupid people who kept asking ignorant questions who were trying to understand
what we are doing and why. To this day, I see
my examples of flipping people and places off all over the internet. Good for them. Maybe I'll get paid for it someday.
I hope I've done my part to provoke the hysteria.
So, I bid the FAQ good-bye. Thanks to all of you in the past who
have contributed ideas, feedback, questions, and complaints. You
all made a difference.
And thanks for stopping by!
-- The Flipster
[Back to Top]
Giving the finger is a very important method for maintaining
sanity in an insane world. "Sanity" in this case refers to a person's
ability to live interactively with other human beings, regardless of how retarded people are, and respecting the differences among us.
An analogy I like to use is a driver in a car during rush hour. You get cut off by some idiot with no regard for human life, including his own. You swerve and get caught by a state trooper sitting on the side of the road. Obviously, he misses the jackass that sped ahead and got
off on the next exit, and you get a ticket. What do you do? In fact, this event has risen your blood pressure, made either your breasts or testicles shrink, and brought you a little closer to death. The only retribution or catharsis you can partake in is swearing and using, THE Middle FINGER!
Get the point?
1.1 What is the Finger?
The finger is a symbol used in many Western cultures to signify dislike for someone or something. Many people have direct translations for this physical gesture. It can mean "Fuck You" or "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck Off". Most individuals within the United States of America have used this gesture for at least twice in their lifetime. For the Flipster, it's a way of life.
1.2 Where did the term "flip you off" come from?
According to an article written by Joe Mamma for
Hustler Magazine on 9/15/1991:
"Daniel Webster, currently creating a catalogue of words for the common use of the King of England in 1826, wrote the colloquial phrase, "given thou flippant". At the time there was nothing particularly amusing about the origin of the phrase. A
concubine is a well-known woman of the night used by men in power. And Webster used the phrase to make fun of the King and his weakness towards lechery. Over the years, the phrase has morphed into "flipping you off" or making a vulgar gesture with a quick movement of the middle finger.'"
1.3 Why do people use profanity?
There are many reasons a given person swears. Go fucking find out yourself by trying to live peacefully in this fucked up world. You'll start swearing too!
1.4 Where Can I Get More Information?
Dictionary.com is dedicated to
answering questions about this very popular act. Feel free to look around.
In addition, there are an abundance of
resources on the Internet that can help you find answers to your stupid
questions. Conveniently, Yahoo
has a great listing of them. I encourage you to stop by and check the list
out!
[Back to Top]
2.1 Introduction
This
section is devoted to general questions on throwing a bone or two.
2.2 Can I give you the finger?
No.
2.3 How do I set my browser's home page to this your site?
Both Internet Explorer and Netscape allow you to make this your homepage. They both have menu options, use them.
2.4 Are "birds" dangerous to my health?
Only if you throw one to me or anyone I care about.
2.5 Will pornography fill up my hard
drive?
No. By continuing to purchase more hard drive space, you avoid this problem.
2.6 Is this site a Threat to My Privacy?
The sad truth is that revealing any kind of personal information
opens the door for that information to be spread.
You're just going to have to trust us on this... We don't care enough about you to try and figure out your personal information. Let alone do something with it.
2.7 Sites are telling me I need to turn on
cookies, but they are on.
There are
three likely possibilities for problems like this. Firstly, the site you
are visiting may be detecting cookies improperly. As a result, it may
appear to the site that you are rejecting cookies when in fact you are
not.
Another possibility is that you may be running software that
interferes with cookie usage. There are many filtering and blocking
software packages available for Internet users these days, and many of
them also filter cookies. If you are running software like this, then your
computer may not receive or send cookies. This will cause sites you visit
to assume you are not accepting cookies.
Finally, your machine may
be behind a firewall or proxy server that prevents cookie transmission.
This is most likely in a corporate environment. So, regardless of how your
browser is set, cookies won't be sent or received by your browser. Since
the cookies aren't making it through to your browser, the Web Site will
assume you personally aren't accepting them.
2.8 I deleted my cookies, and I can't
log-on to the FlipBoard anymore. What can I do?
Many
sites use a cookie to keep track of your settings on their servers, and to
help you log in to their site. If you lose your cookie, that site cannot
recall your settings for you to use.
If this happens to you, the
best thing you can do is contact the webmaster or our customer service
department.
2.9 Why did I get "flipped off" from the FlipBoard?
The person you engaged in lighthearted banter decided to try and get under your skin. Apparently, it worked. You are a dumbass.
2.10 I looked at my Internet Explorer
cookies, and they had my username on them! Can the FlipBoard see my
username?
Because Windows systems allow more than one user
to login and use programs, Microsoft had to come up with a way to keep
each user's cookies separate on a given machine. This can be common in
workplaces, where a single machine is shared by many employees.
This is accomplished by appending the username to the cookie file
name. This way, both Jane Doe and Joe Smith can get cookies from
coolsite.com and they don't get over-written.
If anyone else logs-in, then this cookie is
not used.
To answer your second question, no we cannot see your stupid little username until you actually use it. The username does not get sent to the server with
the cookie data.
2.11 How do I send pictures of Flip-events in to the web site?
You can send more pictures to our professional photographer.
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3.1 Introduction
Whether
you're an experienced potty mouth, sick bastard, sailor or just a web user looking for answers, a big part of
understanding slang language is to go into the gory details. This section does
just that.
3.2 How does giving the finger really
work?
The finger transports from your inner soul, to all who sees it, your true feelings about the world.
Try it and see for yourself:
You'll get responses out of people you thought never possible!!!
3.3 Breakdown of proper flipping off of wankers
As we have just seen, a well placed finger contains more than simply a hand gesture
and a smile. In fact, a true bird has 6 steps to be used to get the full effect:
- The scenario of the Flip,
- The reason or feellings behind the Flip,
- The time-length of the Flip,
- The flair of the Flip,
- The recipient the Flip is intended for,
- The closure or retraction of the Flip to end the credence.
Here is a detailed
description of each.
SCENARIO
The right time must be chosen carefully to gauge the proper use of the finger:
Is anyone of importance looking?
REASON, FEELINGS BEHIND
The reason is important as to remind you that without it, you accomplish nothing.
That asshole in the SUV cut me off!
TIME-LENGTH
The amount of time you leave a finger can intensify your intent or is potentially the most detrimental to the bird. If overused, you become ignored and thus, you begin to just look stupid with your hand(s) in the air. You might even be mistaken for the mentally retarded.
The dumb bitch that blew her horn at me 4 miles ago is still flipping me off
Why does Jim always have his middle finger up??? What the fuck is wrong with him?
If the length of time
is not set carefully, then it defeats the purpose of flipping the people off in the first place.
FLAIR
How you use the bird once it is out there can separate you from the amateurs. It takes creativity and flexibility of the person and their hands. It encompasses waving, rolling, wiggling and acting out certain aspects to really highlight the fact that you are flipping them off.
Pretend you are winding a jack-in-the-box as you slowly raise your middle finger with the opposite hand.
RECIPIENT
The receiver is the piece of shit that deserves to be flipped off. Without them or it, your time is wasted.
CLOSURE OR RETRACTION
All good things must come to an end. That includes conveying your feelings.
3.4 How do the pics end up on my hard
drive?
It's magic!
3.5 What are all those entries in my
Forum?
Just words inputted into the FlipBoard. Read them and enjoy.
3.6 Where does MSIE keep its
birds?
Microsoft keeps its birds in different
locations, depending on the version of explorer and Windows you are using.
The best way to find it is to use the Windows "Search" feature an look
for the "Finger" folder.
Although the location may be different, the format is the same. Each individual
finger is stored in their own file, along with the username that
accessed the site.
3.7 Is this site Year 2000 Compliant?
Yes! Absolutely!
[Back to Top]
4. ADVANCED TOPICS
4.1 Introduction
This
section covers topics beyond those discussed above.
4.2 The right time to swear
Choose your time wisely when cursing and using profane gestures so that you will be able to do it again at a later date.
There are things you will want to look for when swearing. They are as follows:
- You CANNOT swear in front of the Flipster. I will out-curse you everytime, so do not try.
- Do not throw a bone in church. Have some fucking class at least!!!
Note that this oral profanity as well as flipping the bird.
4.3 Receiving a "bird" with grace
For the most part, at some point in your life, you will be flipped off. Depending on who you got it from, just shrug it off. Or retaliate! Fire a bone back at them! Or have sex with their wife. Whatever it takes. Make sure you know why you were flipped off. That will help you decide how to take the bird.
4.4 Delivering a "bird" to your boss
When flipping off your boss, there are many reasons that you may
need to initiate the act. Lack of a good raise, bad haircut, these are all good reasons.
The reason you throw a bone is very personal. Simply make sure you have alternate sources of income first. Or gauge how well the bastard will take it. Use good judgement. We will NOT be held accountable for the consequences.
4.5 Detecting if profanity is accepted
To properly detect if profanity is being accepted by your environment, just listen to the asshole bitches around you. This is a tell-tale sign that your peers will be offended when you throw up both middle fingers and scream, "Fucking Die!!!" is lack of laughter. If you have never heard the word, "fuck" uttered from your surroundings, do not use that word or flip anyone off. Make sure they cannot see you when flipping them off.
4.6 Privacy Policies and Swearing
In 1998, the Flipster hit the scene by screaming, "Fuck You, Bill!" to William H Gates, III at a convention in Northern California. Since that one act that never got any press, the staff at IFLIPYOUOFF.com started drafting a communication to all users of "The Finger". This was a proposal for a Platform for Privacy and Swearing (PPS). PPS has 3 main goals:
- To inform everyone of the bird's uses and its proper privacy practices.
- To allow an end of the stressful event that initiated the use of a middle finger or profanity in the first place.
- To share experiences between all individuals that have opinions of all things while ensuring total and complete privacy.
The Internet was a logical means of providing these 3 simple precepts.
[Back to Top]
About the Author
The Flipster is a Senior Mack Daddy. He writes short stories and works part time in pornographic, adult films. He has worked in the Web industry for
over 6 years as a consultant. In addition, he is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having given a woman the most orgasms in one single sexual session, in recorded history.
His personal interests include
traveling, photography, gaming, animation, and sports. When not
administering this website, he can be found either playing BlackJack in Vegas or out on the golf
course.
Copyright ©1999-2004 The Flipster. This
document is provided "as is" without any guarantees or warranty. Although
the author has attempted to find and correct any errors or mistakes he,
and everyone who contributed to it, are not responsible for any damage or
losses of any kind caused by the use or misuse of information in this FAQ.
The author is under no obligation to provide service, corrections, or
upgrades to this FAQ.
The following is legal information and
refers to all the information in this document. This information pertains
to all use of the FAQ worldwide. All specific names included in the
package are registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged. Any other
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No portion of the document may be separated and distributed separately
without the written permission of the author, David Whalen.
The document can not be included in any publication, such as, but not
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Visitors are encouraged to send submissions and error fixes to the
author, but the author is in no way obliged to utilize these enhancements
or fixes.
In the event of ambiguity or omission within this notice, all rights
and ownership are retained by the author.
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